Scene from
Stop Kiss by Diana Son (cut scenes 7 and 3) with Maddie Melcher
(Callie’s apartment. Callie and Sara are on the couch playing cards.)
SARA: Okay, if you’re in someone else’s bathroom and they have the toilet paper coming out from the bottom instead of the top –
CALLIE: I hate that!
S: Do you change it or leave it the way it is?
C: What do you mean change it? You’d change somebody else’s roll?
S: Yeah, if I was gonna use it a couple times.
C: Pfff.
S: All right, you go next.
C: So if you were driving down a highway and saw a pothole in the road ahead, what would you do,
straddle or swerve?
S: Mm, straddle, you?
C: Straddle.
S:
(About Callie) Swerve.
C: Nah-ah.
S: Yes you would.
C:
(A second scenario) Cat in the road.
S: Not a cat – say a rabbit.
C: Okay, a rabbit. Straddle, swerve, or brake.
S:
(Like this is even an option; disbelief) Straddle a rabbit.
C: Sport Utility Vehicle – four-wheel drive, you could.
(Callie sits down, picks up her hand, and discards.)
S: Screech to a brake, check the rabbit, then – smoke. You?
C: Brake.
S:
(Correcting her again) Swerve.
C: Why do you keep saying that?
S: This is you –
(She pretends to be Callie driving then swerving. Callie puts her cards down.)
C: These cards are driving me nuts.
S: One more hand, please.
(Callie picks the cards back up.)
C: Can I ask you something about your job?
S: Yep.
C: Why did you want it?
S: You mean this fellowship?
C: Public school, the Bronx – teaching.
S: Instead of private school, St. Louis – teaching?
C: That’s what you’re used to, right?
S: It’s where I worked for five years, I never got used to it. I mean, I never went to private school. We all went to the cruddy public school – I mean, it was cruddy compared to the private school, it’s the Sorbonne compared to where I teach now. But in a private school… I mean, what am I giving them? They have more than everything.
C: And the Bronx?
S: OK. These kids – you know who I was when I was their age? I was the kid who had the right answer, knew I had the right answer, but would never raise my hand. Hoping the teacher would call on me anyway. Those are my favorite kids to teach. And here? Now? I’ve got a classroom full of them.
(Callie looks at the discard pile.)
C: Did you pick up a card?
(Sara does.)
S: You should come and meet them one day.
C: Yeah, OK.
S: I’ll bet you’ve never even been to the Bronx.
C: I go every day.
S: Fly over.
C: That’s more than most New Yorkers.
S: Can I ask you about your job?
C: (Dread-filled) Go ahead.
S: Why the traffic?
C: Why the traffic indeed.
S: I mean, as opposed to reporting or other kinds of journalism.
C: I’m not a journalist. I never worked in radio or TV before I got that job.
S: So how’d you get it?
C: My boyfriend Tom’s uncle worked at the station.
S: Oh.
C: I mean, it’s the traffic; it’s not even – the weather. You just ride around in a helicopter and tell people what the cars are doing.
S: The helicopter part is pretty great, right?
C: Yeah, how great?
S: Well if you don’t like it, you should get another job.
C: I can’t.
(Sara imitates Callie swerving in her imaginary car again. Slight pause.) I don’t get that.
S: What time is it?
C:
(Checks phone) Almost eight o’clock already. Oh, I forgot about meeting George and the others at the Sinatra bar.
S: I should go.
C: No no, they’ll be there for hours.
S: I’ve taken up your whole –
C: Are you hungry? We could order something. There’s Polish, Indian, Cuban, there’s a pretty good
Vietnamese –
S: Are you sure you don’t – I’ve never had Vietnamese –
C: I’ll show you the menu.
(Callie hops up and goes into the kitchen.) Something to drink? Beer?
S: Yes to beer.
(Sara leans toward Callie’s phone.) Were those friends from work?
C: Oh no, the people at my job are a bunch of stiffs – can you imagine? They listen to the same news
reports every ten minutes for eight hours a day. They repeat themselves in regular conversations. No,
George – the guy on the phone – Lidia, Jasmine… Rico, Sally, Ben – we were all friends in college and now we’re stuck to each other. I think we’re someone’s science experiment, we just don’t know it. A study in over-dependency.
S: Is George your boyfriend?
(Callie returns, carrying two beers. She hands a beer and menu to Sara.)
C: I like the noodle dishes, they’re on the back. (Sara takes the menu.) George and I… are friends. Who sleep together. But date other people. Sometimes for long periods of time. We’ve been doing this since we were…20. Although he never likes anyone I’m dating, he’s unabashedly – and I admit I can get jealous when he’s – but at least I try to hide it; I’m pretty good at it too. It’s only after they’ve broken up that I – Anyway, we’ll probably get married.
(Sara gets the Eight-Ball and shakes it. She looks up at Callie.) Or not.
S: It’s stuck between two again.
C: Why’s that keep happening to you?
S: Me? I think you have it rigged. (Callie takes the ball and shakes it. She looks at its answer: It’s between
two again. Sara tries to look –)
C: Okay, okay.
S: All my friends are married or getting engaged, having babies or wishing they were – and lately when I
hear about it, I think – why?
C: Why not?
S: Marriage. Why would you say to anyone, “I will stay with you even if I outgrow you.”
(Pause.)
C: (Remembering) Peter. (Sara is unresponsive, then finally nods.) Did you leave him to come here?
S: … No.
C: Mm… C-minus.
S: In what?
C: Acting.
(Sara looks down.) I’m sorry –
S: No no –
C: I’m prying –
S: No, that’s not why –
C: I hope I didn’t –
S: No, it’s okay.
(Slight pause.)
C: Did you decide what you wanted to order?
S: I moved out from our apartment – we lived together – and moved in with my parents about a month ago. I came here from there.
C: How – how long –
S: Seven years.
C: Seven… So you must still be –
S: – Finally. Finally where I want to be. I’ll stay here in New York for two years and then I’m going to take off.
C: Let me guess: India.
S: A for effort, but no. Australia, Malaysia, Indonesia, Micronesia –
C: All the countries that sound like skin rashes?
S: Peter said, “What about Anesthesia?” Speaking – what time is it?
C: 8:03.
S: Hm.
C: What?
S: Oh, he left a message on my machine saying he was going to call at 8:20. He wants to come visit. He manages a restaurant in St. Louis so he wants to come and check out some of the special places here.
C: You’d better hurry.
S: I couldn’t make it in 15 minutes.
C: You could if you took a cab.
(Slight pause.)
S: But then I wouldn’t have Vietnamese food.
C: We could do it another time.
S: I just started this beer.
(Pause.)
C: You wouldn’t want to waste a beer.
S: That’s what I was thinking.
C: Cheers.
(They tap glasses.)
